The annual Pirates in Paradise festival in Key West, Fla., celebrates the region's colorful seafaring history -- including a walk off the plank.
By Rob Lovitt, msnbc.com contributor
Ahoy there, buckoes and wenches: If it?s good times and treasure ye seek,?get thee to Key West, Fla., this weekend for the closing days of the city?s Pirates in Paradise festival.
And if you really want to make a splash while you?re there, be sure to don your best pirate regalia, prepare a good yarn and join the ranks of the ?condemned? as they compete in the National Walk the Plank Championships, Overhead Bin?s Weird Festival of the Month for December.
Now in its seventh year, the competition is the brainchild of Captain Robb ?Hurricane? Zerr, who leads a buccaneering band of entertainers called Pyrates of the Coast. ?Walking the plank is such a part of pirate lore so we wanted to open it up to the public,? he said. ?Here, anybody can enter, go for the jump and try to win the glory.?
The competition, which takes place this Saturday, is held on board the Wolf, a 74-foot topsail schooner outfitted with an eight-foot wooden plank. Competitors are assigned a crime, prompted to plead for their lives and scored on a variety of criteria before receiving their inevitable sentence.
In addition to being judged on the quality of their costumes (pirate-themed or otherwise) and the size of their splash (butt and belly flops highly encouraged), competitors are judged on how well they conduct themselves on their way to Davy Jones? Locker.
As the rules state, ?Criteria covers plank approach, bravado, arrogance, guile, bribery, form on the plank and poise before the plunge,? with extra Plea Points awarded for ?groveling, cries of mercy, pleas of innocence, invocations [and] curses.?
?If they get too long-winded, I might jab my sword at them,? said Zerr. ?My sword couldn?t cut water so I just point it at them and they jump.?
Not surprisingly, perhaps, nobody escapes their date with the briny deep. ?You may have a good story about why you deserve to live but in you go anyway,? said Klaus Chroszielewski, who won last year?s event after taking the plunge as King Neptune, complete with crown, trident and flippers.
Likewise, nobody really goes to Davy Jones? Locker ??all contestants get fished out of the drink and live to tell the tale. If that sounds appealing, Chroszielewski offers a little advice: ?If you?re going to be in Key West, you?re going to see some unusual stuff anyway so you might as well do something original.?
Rob Lovitt is a longtime travel writer who still believes the journey is as important as the destination. Follow him at Twitter.
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